Guangzhou Daily Conghua Daily: I always feel inferior to others. How can I change this mentality?

　 Media: Guangzhou Daily Conghua Daily, May 26, 2017 A02 "Xinqing Clinic"

Experts in this issue: Guangzhou Heartball Psychological Consultation Center Zheng Qijuan, a psychological consultant and a national second-class psychological consultant

　　 Xiao Li (22 years old) : I am a fresh graduate of a bachelor's degree. I have many friends who graduated from a junior college. They always think I am very powerful. But every time I practice, I feel inferior to others. Even if I have accumulated more experience, I still feel that I am not doing well in many times, and I always ask myself: "Why are you always so weak and have so many shortcomings?" Even if others do not say, I always feel that I am poor in the eyes of people around me. Every time I feel frustrated, is it a psychological problem? What should I do?

　 Guangzhou Heartball Psychological Counseling Center Psychological Counselor, National Grade II Psychological consultant - Zheng Qijuan

From the description, I don't see how poor Xiao Li is. In terms of education, experience and feedback from others, she is not inferior to others, but may also be the object of envy. However, Xiaoli always has a voice in her heart that thinks she is bad, reminding her to focus on her shortcomings and problems and ignore her strengths and highlights. This inferiority complex, on the one hand, promotes Xiao Li's self-improvement, on the other hand, causes psychological pain and depression.

This kind of psychology is mostly formed slowly in the process of growth. Xiao Li can think for a moment, "So weak, so many shortcomings?" Is this voice familiar? In the process of growing up, who would say similar words in their own ears? "In the eyes of people around me, everything is very bad". Who will think that he is very bad around Xiao Li, and who will let him down? After finding the answer, Xiao Li can think deeply about the root cause behind this repression. This is mostly a means of education for the elders, or the character of the educators. Many parents use criticism and pressure to force their children to work harder and be better, which will make their children lose confidence and leave a psychological shadow.

Although the past experience has affected our self-awareness, it is the past experience, and the present self is an opportunity to gain excellence and praise through hard work. Xiao Li can pay more attention to her own advantages and good work, and consciously give her recognition and praise. If you find it difficult to adjust yourself, you can actively seek professional help psychological counseling 。