How would the husband feel if his wife was too perfect and excellent?

Many women feel that they need to be good enough to ensure a better marriage, maintain a stable and long-term relationship, and become an excellent wife, mother, and family member.

However, the most common mistake people make when they get along with others is to get used to loving others in their own way. They think that everything is perfect for the other party, but the other party is less and less appreciative, feeling pressure and even disgust. Marital counseling Share for you:

Amin tells of his psychological confusion with his wife in recent years:

Ten years ago, I was eager to find an excellent girlfriend, and finally met her in my dream when I was a graduate student. At that time, she was studying for a doctor's degree. Her knowledge and innocence deeply attracted me, which made me unable to extricate myself.

We have been dating for two years, and we have a very good relationship, but my psychological burden is getting heavier and heavier. I just wanted to talk about it, but with the deepening of my feelings, I began to worry about delaying her. She is really excellent. Her height, appearance, education and intelligence are all better than mine. She is also very diligent. And she said that my greatest advantage was to be tolerant of her. She felt more relaxed with me than with her family. I was worried that she would leave me someday, although she promised not to break up with me.

I don't have an outstanding appearance. I can't give her too much material enjoyment, nor can I make her proud. I think that if I love someone, I should be able to give her happiness. If I can't do that, I should not be with her. I made up my mind to break up with her several times, but she refused. In the year when she graduated from the doctoral program, she overcame the pressure of her family and married me.

She works in a foreign company, and I teach in a school. I didn't mistake her. She was really capable. She worked less than two years. With her impressive performance, she was promoted to vice general manager of the company. Her monthly salary was several times mine.

At home, she is also a highly efficient and perfect person.

As soon as she got off work, she took off her suit and went into the kitchen. Look at her cutting vegetables neatly, pressing this switch, pulling out that plug... her action seems like flowing water. Suddenly, the mobile phone rang. She turned around and picked up the phone, while still adjusting the fire.

The house was very quiet, only the sound of the fire hissing. Look at the clock, the child will be home in more than half an hour, and my parents will also come in about an hour later. They won't come earlier, because she said: "They can't help anything. When they come, they turn on the TV so loudly, which makes everyone uneasy. It's better to wait until a quarter of an hour before dinner."

Everything in this family is in the order she controls. Yes, of course it's her order.

I have to admit that she is really a "perfect" person. She creates perfection, enjoys perfection, and her perfection needs rules. From the office to the family, she sets rules and requires everyone to obey them.

Her ability dissipates the natural and relaxed atmosphere of the family. She lives too hard, and the family must also live with her as much as possible without choice.

Compared with her, I am a very inefficient person. I am not as aggressive as her. I work mediocrely. I am just an ordinary teacher. I like a leisurely and slow life.

The more this capable woman takes care of everything, the more I feel that I am a dispensable person at home, and I am ashamed that I cannot contribute to my family. To take the simplest example, even the best kindergarten in my child's listing is the result of her efforts. Am I still an upright man? My mental pressure is very high. I always feel tired and tired mentally. I am not happy at all. I have a desire to run away from home. Do you think I am mentally abnormal?

　　 Guangzhou Psychologist analysis:

Amin's anxiety and pressure are very representative in today's society.

From the secular point of view, a man must be stronger than his woman, and such a match is normal. But the truth is that not every woman can be happy only when she is with a man who is stronger than herself. Those men with strong abilities are likely to lack more important qualities that make women happy, such as the sense of relaxation that Amin's wife said. In fact, he should be confident first, because he must have advantages to win his wife's favor. The key is not to be led by secular habitual thinking, but to believe in your own charm. It can be said that Amin's lack of confidence is the real crisis of their feelings.

Of course, on the other hand, Amin's wife also needs to pay attention to improving her strict and perfect approach to people and things. Because demanding perfection will hurt marriage. In daily life, some people concentrate on their work without distractions and are strict with themselves. Sometimes they make mistakes and have to blame themselves for a long time. In fact, keeping a heart of moderation and common, tolerating a certain amount of mistakes and imperfections, you can do things with ease, which is also an objective attitude. It is not wrong to work at a high standard, but it becomes demanding to be perfect everywhere, and you cannot enjoy the fun of the struggle process. Even if the final goal is achieved, it is difficult to feel the joy of success.

　　 Hear it Psychological counseling Reminder: With a little attention in emotion, many people will realize that when they talk about love, they are often meeting their own needs. The excellence we try to obtain or display has nothing to do with each other's needs. They are more to meet our own narcissism.

The organization of marriage and family, to a certain extent, requires both men and women to smooth the edges and corners of their bodies and jointly create a relationship that makes each other relaxed and happy. This requires that we sometimes have to give up some of our own personality, such as too many rules, too perfect requirements, and properly understand and meet each other's needs, such as making each other feel valuable in the family, respecting each other's family, and accepting each other's shortcomings