In life, we can often see such scenes:
Children who have been criticized by their teachers at school will face their parents' "mixed doubles" again and scold them mercilessly when they return home;
Among the playful students, they become the object of jokes and make a fool of themselves in public;
Parents can't praise their children from the bottom of their hearts, either deny the pressure or let them continue to work hard;
......
These recurring, seemingly insignificant events are easy to ignore, but for young children, these cumulative sum is enough to crush their psychological trauma.
Some people may wonder, is such a small thing a wound?
Indeed, in our general impression, the events that can be called trauma are always major life events, such as car accidents or in the scene of tragic car accidents, the death of relatives, earthquakes, etc. Compared with these, these small things in life seem insignificant.
The direct and concise definition of psychological trauma is that major life events lead to life threatening psychological feelings.
The first point emphasizes that when the intensity of a major event exceeds people's defense baseline, it is easy to cause trauma.
The second point emphasizes the psychological feelings of the parties at the time of the event, a subjective sense of pain and hurt.
Therefore, even though some events seem to be less intense for adults, they are especially serious for the age and mind at the time of the event.
What we mentioned earlier, and what we will talk about in detail next, is the traumatic experience and impact of such events on children.
These minor traumas, which will produce a strong sense of frustration in children's hearts, will form superimposed psychological trauma after countless times of superposition in life, which can also have serious consequences.
Superimposed minor trauma, subtle but also harmful
In the case of adolescent counseling, it can be seen that the superposition of minor trauma is one of the important reasons for children's problems in family education.
The children who came to the consulting room counted the "criminal evidence" of their parents from the counselor, each of which shocked their parents. The ordinary things they thought or the "love" they thought were originally hurt by the children, while the children who seemed to live a normal life and grew up happily were already covered with bruises in their hearts.
It seems that everything is small, but when the trauma accumulates and gradually occupies most of the child's world, it will leave a deep imprint in the child's heart, which will have a negative impact on the child's physical and mental development.
Some children are prone to depression, or even depression; Some children may also make impulsive behavior under continuous stimulation, which is deplorable.
I wonder if you still remember that in April 2019, a 17-year-old boy jumped from the Lupu Bridge in Shanghai. Because of a conflict with his classmates at school, the boy was called a parent by the teacher.
On the way home with his mother, he was severely criticized after telling her.
So, when his mother stopped on the bridge, he chose to jump off the bridge and give up his life.
We have no personal experience, so we cannot make other judgments, but for the children at that time, this must be a superimposed psychological trauma event:
The dispute with his classmates was the first psychological trauma. Later, he received no support from adults, including teachers and mothers, but severe criticism and criticism, which was a continuous blow and trauma. Perhaps it is the accumulation of these traumas that caused the tragedy of the 17-year-old boy
Like a piece of porcelain, tiny cracks are always ignored, but the pain and hurt feelings that children experience are real. When small cracks continue to overlap until they are dissatisfied with the whole piece of porcelain, it may be broken when the next crack appears. Ignorance has become the norm. People will only notice it when it is broken, but it is too late.
More and more studies have also found that the root causes of various psychological problems are related to the long-term relationship and attachment trauma in childhood.
Children suffering from these traumas are difficult to adjust their emotions, behaviors and attention. These symptoms often persist into adulthood, and eventually manifest as bipolar disorder, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, borderline personality disorder, and even long-term physical pain.
This has a lot to do with the physical and psychological development level of children.
Infants and children are particularly vulnerable to minor trauma. Their brains are not mature and rational enough. Babies have very limited ability to comfort themselves and calm themselves, and are easily overwhelmed by emotions.
The young brain has a strong reaction to injury and discomfort, which requires the full care, response, sight, care, protection and company of the caregiver, and provides sufficient emotional support to help children establish a sufficient sense of security and mental health foundation.
When a child is hurt, the caregiver should comfort him in a timely manner, and at the same time, tell him in simple words that he has been seen and accepted, so as to help him get out of frustration.
This is also the process that children learn to deal with trauma, understand what is happening inside themselves, and then learn to express. Only when emotions are accepted and expressed can the wound be truly healed.
When the caregiver is difficult to provide support, or neglects or negates the emotional needs of the child, the child can only form a defense to cope with overwhelming emotions, usually using primitive defenses such as repression and division.
Therefore, it is difficult for children to express their inner pain clearly after experiencing minor trauma. The pain that seems to have passed, but has not been understood and expressed, has always existed, but has been suppressed.
If the wound experience is not allowed to be expressed, it means that the wound cannot be healed.
Countless repressed traumas are accumulating in children's minds, like blocked river water, accumulating energy constantly, which may be activated once the capacity is exceeded or the outside world has conditions.
At this time, the river water that has been stored for a long time is like a flood. It is threatening and the damage caused is difficult to predict.
So some children also have another form of expression, that is, when children's psychological trauma accumulates to a certain extent, they will activate all the trauma and explode a larger emotional response due to a small matter.
This is why we can hear many parents who have emotional problems with their children say:
"My children used to be very good. How could they suddenly become like this?"
"The child suddenly lost his temper without warning"?
In fact, behind the unprovoked changes of children, a large number of superimposed psychological trauma has been activated.
How to avoid trauma superposition?
Don't become the "booster" of children's superimposed psychological trauma
Small traumas that can be seen everywhere in daily life, and a couple of criticisms that parents think they are casual, may bury the hidden danger of children suffering from mental disorder without knowing it.
To avoid the superposition of trauma, the most important thing is to give children enough emotional support, build a good parent-child relationship, help children establish an internal sense of security, belonging and value, and let children stimulate the power of growth and self construction. A healing relationship is also the basis for improving children's frustration ability and strengthening their psychological resilience.
If the child has psychological trauma, which affects daily learning and life, and social function is damaged, it is better to seek help from professionals, so that the child can receive professional and effective intervention in a timely manner to avoid secondary trauma and superimposed trauma to the child.
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