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Consultation on love troubles

Compositions without self change are mostly repeated mistakes

Published on: April 4, 2014

A period of campus youth love has not withstood the graduation break season. You may think it a pity that you still want to recover; Through the best years of youth together, you have relied on him, and personality incompatibility may make your The relationship is full of war, but unwilling to part from it , want to recover; Maybe you are no longer young, and you have accumulated too many contradictions after years of getting along. It seems that marriage is not suitable, and you are hesitant to break up Marital emotional counseling Interpretation: Not all emotions need to be recovered. Without self change, most of the results are repeated mistakes.

It is said that the feelings of junior high school and senior high school are the most sincere and pure, because people at that stage do not consider various realistic conditions. They only like you, and you don't like him because he is rich and handsome. Lifang and Liu Shuai met in high school. Although their classes change positions every month and are divided into different classes every year, the magic is that they have been together for three years in high school, either at the same table or in front and back seats. I don't know from which day on, they all like each other, but they still dare not openly oppose their parents and teachers, so they have to hide this feeling in their hearts, but it shows in their relationship. They know each other likes themselves, but they never say it or ask each other.

After college, they could finally talk about love boldly. They were admitted to the nearby university, two hours away. At the beginning of their relationship, the two were very sweet. It seemed that they would make up for the years they had not been together before and release all the feelings they had repressed for many years. Their love was capricious, free and easy, romantic and sweet. Naturally, there would be some contradictions and disputes. They lost their temper to test whether the other party cared about themselves, Let off some small emotions and hope the other party can tolerate themselves

Once two people had a dispute over a very small matter. After the quarrel, Lifang always felt that she would make up as usual. But this time Liu Shuai suddenly changed his attitude, saying that he could not stand her temper and that her words hurt him too much.

Later, she didn't answer his phone calls and didn't want to answer his text messages. During that time, Lifang's eyes were red with tears. Tears were swirling every day. She had been deeply regretting that she shouldn't be so thoughtless, so headstrong, and that the two people shouldn't quarrel.

She moved him, and he cried at that time, but still hesitated to get back together. The more she wanted to catch him, the more upset he became... After six months of entanglement, the two finally broke up.

More than two years later, Lifang and Liu Shuai got in touch again. Originally, Lifang wanted to ask Liu Shuai to help her with something, but she didn't expect too much. She felt that she had let go of all her previous feelings and could also understand Liu Shuai's choice. This time I didn't mean to disturb you, but after this contact, the two talked about the past and recalled the little things they had been together. Lifang couldn't stop her tears from flowing. It turned out that what she thought would never be heartbreak was actually heartbreak; Liu Shuai was also moved. They also talked about friends after breaking up, but neither of them was suitable. When we met this time, we felt that we still had feelings for each other. We felt that we were too impulsive to break up that year, so we slowly got together again.

At first, because it was not easy to get together, the two also cherish their current relationship, and their dissatisfaction and criticism of each other were mainly patience. After breaking up that year, Lifang secretly vowed to control herself in her relationship and stop quarreling. But as time went by, she found that he was still him, and there were still so many things that made her very unhappy. She wanted to be patient, but she was like an inflated balloon. Without quarreling or venting, she felt uncomfortable. The quarrel still appeared, and there were still many contradictions. He began to run away and spend less time with her; She began to mention that he was different in the past... New contradictions kept coming, while old ones remained the same, and the two seemed to be on the verge of breaking up again.

In a relationship, we all use our naked hearts to collide with each other's hearts. The relationship is broken, and each other's hearts are deeply hurt; In a relationship, we are all sincerely involved. In the face of loss, we always want to recover a little bit; In a relationship, we spent the best youth, the most precious time and the most sincere heart. When it breaks, we are doomed not to give up, but to accept the outcome, the heart will also be reluctant to give up.

   Marital emotional counseling Remind me that not all love needs to be retrieved. Some people have taught you to dance, but they are not the one who can always accompany you to dance, because he is no longer suitable for you or you are no longer suitable for him. It is not true that the feelings of several years can be dispersed, forgotten or left without nostalgia. It is normal to feel reluctant, regretful and nostalgic. However, if years of relationship prove that your relationship is bad, separation is also a better choice.

If the relationship between two people is really due to external reasons, such as the era decades ago, when there was no mobile phone and no phone, or one party was cheated back home, or one party went to a distant place, or one party was transferred to work, and the other party was unable to follow due to various reasons, it would be a great pity for the two people to break the relationship.

However, most of the reasons why two people can't talk with each other in modern times are because the relationship between two people has problems: you are not good at understanding and tolerating each other, you often quarrel with each other, attack and suppress each other, and the other can't stand it, so they move on; You often doubt his ability, can't trust him, and worry about your future. Your parents think he is poor, so you want to give up; You lack a sense of security in your feelings and dare not completely hand yourself over to this man. Although you have established a relationship, you still have an affair with other members of the opposite sex in private... Many people will take external reasons as reasons for breaking up, and vow never to be separated, tolerant, understanding, loyal, and trusted when they get together, but it takes a lot of effort to change people's hearts, Even professional psychological counseling is needed to correct and establish new beliefs and behavior patterns. Many people want to change at the conscious level, but the subconscious has not changed, and will show up in intimate relationships. Therefore, in love and marriage, there is no self changing compound, and the result is mostly repeated mistakes.

   Recommended reading:《 Expert case: dispel the fog of bad luck of being separated


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