Companion magazine: What should I do if I find that they are not suitable for each other after flash marriage?

Media: Companion magazine two hundred and two three year eleven Monthly total five thirty-four stage P twenty-seven Marriage Consulting Room

Experts in this issue: Xu Wenjiao, psychologist of Guangzhou Heartball Psychological Consultation Center, national second-class psychologist ， Sandplay consultant.

Mr. Li Consultation :

This year She is 30 years old and has worked for more than ten years. She is introverted, has a small life circle and has less opportunities to contact girls. I once fell in love before, but I separated after only getting along for a few months, and I never talked again. The elders at home were very worried, so they told me about the blind date.

At the urging of my parents, I couldn't get along with my wife one Six months later, he got married in a flash.

When we first met, I had a good impression of my wife. But after marriage This one After years of getting along and running in, I feel that we really don't fit —— Different personalities and thoughts can trigger many small things in life contradiction 。

I don't want to quarrel with my wife, so I can only sulk. For a long time, my body has become uncomfortable. Every time I have a conflict with my wife, I will lose sleep and have chest tightness.

My wife and I have no common language and little daily communication. This marriage life makes me feel depressed and painful.

I want to divorce, but my wife is pregnant For five months, I was very troubled. Should this marriage continue? What should I do now?

Miss Xu Wenjiao solution answer :

Mr. Li is introverted and used to repress himself. He is not good at expressing his feelings in conflict Before the age of 30, I had little experience in communicating with women. In the absence of understanding of emotion and gender relations, I had to quickly find a partner in the crowd and rush into marriage in the face of age anxiety and family urging.

The time of getting along before marriage is limited, and there is a lack of deep understanding of each other and a deep emotional foundation. The marriage relationship is relatively fragile, which can be said to be "Inadequate by nature". If there is a lack of awareness and belief in running a marriage in the later period, and conflicts and contradictions occur in the marriage one day, it is easy to think of giving up, suspect that the other party is not really suitable for you, rather than thinking about how to repair the marriage relationship.

Mr. Li's experience after marriage was not good. Both parties could not know each other, cherish each other, and were angry and dissatisfied with each other. The idea of divorce may have been brewing in Mr. Li's mind. But even under such circumstances, Mr. Li still let the other party conceive, which not only increased the difficulty of divorce, but also made him fall into the dilemma of having to continue to maintain his marriage. Therefore, we need to know why Mr. Li got himself into trouble.

Maybe it is too difficult for Mr. Li to express his refusal and intransigence and stick to the decision that is beneficial to him. In the face of things he didn't want to do, Mr. Li responded to the conflict by repressing and evading, delaying the marriage issue again and again, so that in the end, the divorce was not, and it was very painful.

What does divorce mean to Mr. Li? The other party's anger? Family members' incomprehension or blame? Fear of not finding a more suitable partner ... Mr. Li can continue to discuss whether to divorce and how to divorce if he wants to.

Mr. Li can also imagine that if the time went back to one year ago, would he make a different choice based on his current mental level, cognitive level, and the resources and ability to obtain partners? The answer is probably no. Why do you regret it now? Is it that after a year of getting along with women, I have become more mature? Know more about what kind of marriage you want? More able to withstand the pressure of parents and the outside world? stay explore In the process of answer, Mr. Li can figure out how to choose and make changes.

 This article is the center Miss Xu Wenjiao The original article has been protected. Please indicate its source when reprinting. If it is used without permission, the company reserves the right to investigate according to law.

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